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Just Musings, I Guess - 3 Months in.

So, I've realized I've been creating my blog posts to be like everyone else's. I've been writing lists, giving advice, making 'how to' statements. Something doesn't feel right. It's not why I started the blog in the first place and I guess I don't want to be like everyone else.

This is my journal that chronicles my life in pursuit of my goal of happiness. I suppose making what I think others want isn't really going to make me happy, is it? I'm not 100% sure of what I'm going to do but I'm going to try to do what's right for me. What makes me happy and what I need.

What do I need?

I need to be reminded of why I'm pursuing this lifestyle

I need to be kept on track

I need to think out each new dilemma that I face

I need to write about my path so I can look back on it

I need to . . . ??

What do I want?

I want to enjoy the process

I want to inspire others, as I've been inspired

I want to think about my life, be mindful

I want to be happy

I want to be grateful

I want to be present

I want to be organized

I want to have a clean space

I want to keep it that way!

How I feel about minimalism 3 months in:

I really like my empty space, in fact I crave it! I really enjoy having the open floor plan. I feel contentment when I see my very neatly organized, almost empty bookshelf. I feel happy when I know it'll only take me a few minutes to clean up my kids toys (or they clean them up). I really enjoy seeing how serene my children's rooms are. I really like knowing where everything is in my house. I like the feeling that I don't have too much stuff. I keep getting rid of more and more furniture. I think my hubby is getting worried we'll soon be sitting on tatami mats like Fumio Sasaki!

On the other side:

I know I'm not done. I don't get the same contentment when I walk into my kitchen, laundry room, front hallway, dining room, master bedroom, craft room, or basement. I know I still have too much stuff there. I'm not entirely sure what it is but I know there are things there, I just have this niggling feeling in the back of my mind that it's not finished. It still takes me WAY too much time to clean these rooms. I feel like I'm avoiding them. I'd rather go and sit in my airy living room than be in my cluttered kitchen.

I also don't like other people's clutter. It's not that I can't stand it, it's that I know better. I feel like preaching to them and telling them that if they just got rid of stuff they'd feel so much better! I went to my mom's and decluttered her rooms in my head. I had the biggest urge just to purge her house. Don't worry, I didn't do it! I suggested some edits but I didn't actually get rid of anything for her. It's funny as I'm not the evangelical type but all of a sudden I feel like telling everyone about this thing called minimalism!

I've made some mistakes. I needed shoes and a coat for my daughter. I went searching and searching but couldn't find a coat that made me feel right about it (I didn't even end up getting shoes). I ended up getting a coat that was probably too warm for spring (although it's -18 degrees C out here today) and kind of expensive. I feel like I've lost my ability to tell if I need or want something. Shopping makes me nervous and I end up buying something I might not need.

I actually did buy a water bottle that was 50% off with the coat. My daughter needed one for school so I bought it. I was flustered by having to make a decision about the coat that looking at the water bottle didn't even cross my mind. When we got home my daughter couldn't even open it. The straw didn't go to the bottom and the 2nd day she used it, part of it broke! UGH! What a horrible purchase! I guess I'm still learning and will get the hang of things!

Another downside I've noticed is, I have free time, but my friends don't. They are all struggling with too much to do and no time to do it. I'd like to spend time with them but they are all running busy busy busy. Maybe I need some more friends?

All in all,

I love the feeling of spending a fraction of my time cleaning my house! What freedom! I love being with my children and I love my new relationship with my husband. I enjoy sharing this journey with him and hope my example will rub off on my children and they too, will be able to live simple but happy lives.


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